How do people not know their spouse is cheating?

I never understood how can someone not know a person is cheating? How is it you just didn't have a clue? I am not being rude I am just curious honestly. Thanks





Especially if you are married and have kids it would seem that you have responsibilities and how are people able to hide this?How do people not know their spouse is cheating?
It's not that we don't have a clue, it's just that it's very hard to believe that something like this will happen to you. You make excuses as to why things just are not getting resolved in the argument department. Seems like when you say that they are hanging on to something so trivial for so long that they apologise, but, before yoju can kiss and make up, they take offence to yet another trivial problem. Or start pointing how different you two are in different areas. My ex was sending all the signals but since she was a Bible school graduate and a devote Christian woman, (maybe not too devote) I just thought maybe I was a being a poor husband and she just wasn't getting my best. Then the ';we just have so many differences'; statement popped up and the light went on. I just blurted out....so, how long has this affair you're having gone on? She packed her stuff up and went to go live with her sister. The culprete ended up being some Missionary that she worked for. This guy was engaged to be married (again, late wife died). And he did get married to someone else. My ex lost the kids, her respect, her faith in God, and her husbands trust.





You see there are some of us guys still out there that believe that marriage is for life! Unless of course the woman cheats. Then we get a free get outta marriage card from the church. Best move I've ever made. Been married after that for 22 years. Ex is constantly telling our sons how horrible her marriage is. They know though. She just doesn't want to ';belong'; to anyone. Considers it a form of slavery.How do people not know their spouse is cheating?
Mine never actually cheated in the physical sense, that I know of, but emotionally did several times. I had no clue for many many years and would have never found out if a slip of the tongue hadn't sent me searching. Why didn't I know? Here's a list;





She was always acting super jealous and criticizing my every possible transgression, even to the point of covering my eyes during the R ratted part of the movie. When someone seems so anti cheating so entrenched in a rule then you tend to assume that they're not violating the rule themselves.





She was always playing the religion card and insinuating that she was the holy person because she read her bible %26amp; prayed every day and always went to church and I was the heathen. When someone is all wrapped up in their religion and guilt you sort of assume that they would never commit what they consider to be some mortal sin.





While she was always sexually receptive, she always made it known that she wasn't really interested in sex and was mostly doing it for me. She wasn't that blunt about it but that was the attitude she put out. When somebody doesn't seem to care much about something you don't really tend to suspect them of being willing to risk everything to get some of it.





So even obvious warning signs of things I dismissed as nonsense because the thought of her being any less than perfectly innocent in all things just never crosed my mind. People can wear masks very convincingly. Very, very convincingly.
When my soon-to-be-ex was cheating on me, I KNEW. Something just didn't just seem right. I didn't take it laying down. I went through his stuff and found evidence. It took a few months of this before by chance, I talked to his girlfriend, and sure enough everything was confirmed. Lucky for me this guy was a creep anyway. This was the last straw, and I was more than glad to finally put that relationship to an end. Knowing the truth was quite redeeming.





I think something would not seem ';right';. But be careful, because jealousy and insecurity can lead a person to believe a person is being unfaithful when they are not.
My husband says there are always clues and the spouse was not looking .


but when it happened to me he was with a hooker( and i am the one willing to do anything and wants it everynight) i would of never known but he left his email open and he had an appontment with a person who her email address was very sexy . It happened while i was working during the day so he was always home when i was , did not act differently at all. I am trying so hard to stay together as i love and like him enjoy his company and it would devestate our sons who are 17 and 21
I believe you can miss the signs if you are not paying attention:





1.If you are too busy with kids, work, etc.


2. you don't care enough about the person and don't have much of a relationship to notice the change of behavior or pattern.
The point of cheating is that it go undetected !!


Unfortunately people get caught !!


Or fortunately get caught somewhere down the line !!
Some people are just in denial and turn a blind eye. Sad, but true. I sure as hell wouldn't!