He's denied cheating, but I know who it is. I'm not sure if I want to end the marriage yet, but I can't go on like this.How do I confront a cheating husband. I know who he is cheating with?
if you got busy yourself you could get off his back. once a cheater, always a cheater. if you can't take the heat get out of the the kitchen and find a chef that makes it your way.How do I confront a cheating husband. I know who he is cheating with?
If you want to salvage the marriage, but your husband is in denial, see if you can get physical proof like a video tape and confront him with it.
This might be one of the few instances where hiring a PI might be useful. Most of the time, a PI is biased toward selling you the worst truth possible, sometimes an outright lie, but if you KNOW the end result, then they'll just give you proof, which you can use to confront your husband and demand that he go to counseling.
If confronted with proof, and if he refuses to go to counseling, then you are better off ending things.
When a husband cheats on his wife he is no longer there and committed to you.
He takes everything that was and anything that could of been and sticks it all in the garbage can.
It stinks and nothing smells worse than someones nasty *** rot looking you straight in the face and lying.
Ask yourself this .... What would I do if he admitted the truth to me that I already know?
When someone is being dishonest to you they have no intent of making things better or right.
They keep important information from you not to protect you but to protect themselves.
Actually when someone is not giving you the truth it can become even more harmful to you than knowing it.
They end up having to live with it and always have to watch and remember what they do and say with you and things are never real on their comfort zone.
I would continue to confront him once again and make him accountable for his actions and behavior with marriage counseling if you are positively sure you do not want to end the marriage yet.
If he refuses to recommit and do what it takes with you to salvage the relationship then he gives you no other choice but to walk out of his life.
Before confronting him, at least make sure that he is in fact cheating. At least you are going to be more firm to whatever you are going to say to him. If he lie to you, he has no way of talking you out of it because you are 100% sure. And if you do confront him, you better think carefully of all the consequences that is going to take place after the confrontation. Because if nothing will happen after the confrontation, you will just give him the impression that he could walk out of it anytime coz nothing change. I would not suggest to separate with him neither stay with him because its your life. You should know better how much you value your relationship despite of the fact that you his cheating. Some spouse tries to give their partner another chance; some dont's. Its up to you. Good luck.
Do some detective work and find out for sure.... take a day off, rent a car he can't recognize, and follow him.
Then , hon, ya divorce the guy.
Understand that only 20% of marriages with betrayal survive even 2 years, and that is with both in counseling, and both hoping to save it... Tho women do get over the eeewwww factor easier than when the wife cheats, it is still tooooo big a wad to swallow.
Admit it's over, file, end it, never look back. There are sooooooooooo many nice men out there who, if you are a neat lady, would love to be your partner. But you can never find them with this albatross around your neck. And when the trust is gone, the rest of the marriage is over, and it becomes drama, drama, drama.
Marriages are Respect,Admirationn, Passion and Trust... the four biggies, and when the Trust is gone because the Passion is getting shared, the other two are in the toilet too, aren't they.... flush it hon, find out what's going on, and bail.... once a cheater, really, always one.
lol, seriously, why do women do this? You know he's cheating, you even know the person. But you don't want to end the marriage over it, you realize that if you don't end it, your telling him that it's ok to go out and cheat on you? Your just telling him to keep doing what he's doing.
Your type of thinking is the exact reason men feel they can get away with cheating over and over again. If women would just kick the cheaters to the curb, then maybe these dumb guys would eventually get the idea in their head that cheating isn't worth it.
Wow this is very hard situation to deal with. It's very hurtful, disrespectful, and I can only imagine the way you are feeling right now. My deepest apology is with you, because I know how hard this is. I have had plenty of experence dealing with this...SO PLEASE @least read my advice...IT WILL HELP...
# 1---Never let on that you are suspicious of your spouse until you have gathered numerous pieces of evidence. If you rush in and confront them after finding one telephone number or text message, you run the risk of alerting them to your suspicions. Not only will they now stay on their toes, but they will make sure you never, ever have access to your source of information again (ie: cellphone, credit card bill, wallet, etc.) The goal is to behave normally and give them the impression that things are “business as usual”. It is when cheaters are in their comfort zone that they slip up and make crucial mistakes.
# 2---Never let the cheater catch you snooping. It is always wise to have a reason for being where you found what you found prior to getting caught snooping. You need to have your story planned out and plausible in advance. Therefore, when you get caught digging through his briefcase, you can claim to be looking for the electric bill that was misplaced and might have gotten mixed up with his papers. Getting caught snooping without having a valid reason for being there is a red flag to the cheater. That’s why you should always have a $20 bill handy so that when you get caught snooping through her purse you can claim to be looking for smaller bills to pay the gardener, paper boy, kids coach, etc.
#3---Never allow the cheater to turn the tables on you and attack you before they provide a valid explanation for their behavior. Once confronted with facts, they will try to pull a Jedi Mind Trick on you by calling you crazy, stupid, psycho, insecure, childish, petty, ridiculous, looking for trouble or trying to start something. All of this will occur before responding to your question about who they were having drinks with after work last Friday. Don’t let them twist the issue. Acknowledge that you are whatever they say you are and then demand that they give you an answer to your question. In other words say, “Yeah, I’m stupid and insecure. Fine. So who is she and how long have you two been screwing around?” Once you allow them to turn the tables, attack you, and then leave the confrontation, you will likely never get to the bottom of the story because he/she will have gained additional time to get their story straight.
# 4---Never allow the cheater to make you explain their behavior. In other words, never get drawn in to the game where they expect you to explain why they would or are doing what you suspect them of doing. A typical cheater will say something like this, “Why would I resume a relationship with my ex when you know how important this family is to me?” or “Why would I have an affair with someone at work when I know your sister/cousin/ best friend/dog works there?” or even, “Why would I do that to you when you know how much I love you?” These are tricks to confuse the victim and make them rationalize why someone wouldn’t have an affair. For committed, unselfish, honest people these rationalizations make sense, but when a cheater is caught up in the throes of an affair, normal, rational thinking is replaced by whatever selfish behavior is necessary to accomplish their goals.
# 5---Never be fooled by confrontation tears. Although they may be sincere, be sure to distinguish between “I’m sorry” tears and “I’m sorry I got caught” tears. Even though tears may be a good starting point for reconciliation, be mindful of who the real victim is here. Don’t run to console the hurt, devastated cheater. Leave them alone in their misery for a little while in order to ascertain what their true desire and motivation is for the emotional breakdown. It is not your place to comfort and reassure at this time. It is simply the time for answers and stating of objectives. Your feelings of anger, hurt, rage, disgust or confusion should in no way be minimized in order to deal with the cheaters outpouring of guilt, sorrow, shame, etc. For once, it should not be about them, but rather about you and you alone.
# 6---Never reveal your source of information. Once you reveal that you obtained his email password, he will change it. Once you admit that you got information from her best friend, she will end that friendship and cut off your ability to obtain future information. And once he discovers you examined the cellphone bill, he will stop the statements from being sent to the house. If you decide to end your relationship, don't do the cheater any favors by letting them know how you obtained your information. Let them go through the rest of their lives thinking that you are a psychic genius. If you decide to reconcile your relationship, you would not want your mate to know how you caught them in case y
Well, I can't see how the marriage can continue if he won't even admit that he is having an affair, but if I were you, I would simply tell him that you know, and is he ready to talk about it yet or not. If he continues to deny it or says he doesn't want to talk about it, then tell him that you are leaving him.
If you're absolutely sure, you have to confront him. If you aren't sure you don't want to end the marriage, listen to what he has to say. Cheating is never okay. If he insists it was meaningless, then you might still have a shot at keeping your marriage. But if he's been having an affair, and not a one night stand, that's going to be a lot harder.
Basically, I think you should confront him. He can't get away with something like that. It's just not okay.
Well for starters, of course he's going to deny it. He's probably not going to admit the truth even if you show him hard evidence. Men can make up some pretty spectacular lies about what they've done. Your best bet, I think, is to reassure him that you have evidence that he cannot deny, and that you're not going to show it to him because you don't feel like having two hours of your life wasted while he babbles his denial.
Have a friend or family member present if you can, in case things get ugly. When caught, cheating males will usually react with anger, and they will throw tantrums. Make sure your witness doesn't get involved, and is just there to serve as a witness.
Don't look like a rundown house wife. Put on some makeup and some nice clothes. Brush your hair. Be confident - don't be all meek and timid. Don't show him that you're nervous!
Above all, don't let him convince you that you're wrong. He will try as hard as he can. Don't give in to him. Just tell him, ';I KNOW that this happened. There is not one single thing you can do or say that can convince me otherwise.';
good luck!
Take it from someone who has been with a cheating ex husband, the pain and thinking about it all the time will eat away at you. Get out now cause if you don't you are going to feel bad about yourself before it is all said and done. I went through a year of wondering what did I do to make him do this. There was nothing that I did it was him not me. No matter what you do there is nothing that makes them do it they just do and while you still have your pride confront him with the proof and kick him to the curb! Good Luck to you!
I have a very good friend who had a cheating husband. She didn't want to leave him for the kids sake at first and she stuck by him for 10 additional years. He was cheating on her the whole time. Finally, she couldn't do it anymore and divorced him. My friend's mother is going through the same thing. She caught her husband chaeting but stuck with him because he ';promised he wouldn't do it again';. We all heard that line before. She had the hard proof and everything but she's too afraid that if she divorced him, she'd be in the poor house. She still miserable with him to this day and is in a terrible dysfunctional family. You need to do what's right for you. Gather your proof, get yourself mentally and financially ready, and drop a bomb on him and leave him. Staying with a cheater just isn't healthy.
A big thing you'll have to cope with is that It's going to hurt a lot but the best thing is to get away ASAP... i know it's emotional but there is so much more in life for you to experience than depression.... trying to salavge this will only delay happiness
Trust me... parents, family, friends, have all been through it... %26amp; i've been the rag doll in this depressing life
just make sure you have a way to live on your own financially for a while before you end it... when you have enough proof for court, hide it and make copies
then comfront him
You don't have to have a special way of telling him you want to end it... he ruined your life so he deserves everything he loses
';i know your cheating ____'; *show him some proof* etcetc... it's over
if you know who he cheated with i would confront that person..chances are theyl get really nervous and itl come out or trick them into telling you...say your husband told you .....i know this is really hard but if a man cheats on yo uand you know hes done it and he denies it..then clearly hes a liar and theres no trust which shows the marriage is doomed..he cheated for a reason and you will need to accept it that your marriage may be over and it may be for the best...hope this helped but i would defo punch the woman lol x
Why would you not want to end this marriage? Do you like knowing that he is with another women? Don't you deserve a better husband?
And believe me he will continue to cheat.
So just come out with the proof and tell him, and then file for divorce.
Half of everything goes to you, There is no fault divorce.
I agree if you know he is without a doubt.. You don't need proof. I would confront him and if he denies it (if you know 199% for sure he is) then you know the marriage is over. If he admits it and wants to work things out with you.. then it is possible to make it. I dont know how long you have been married but the whole 'once a cheater always a cheater thing' I don't think that's true one bit. Everyone makes mistakes and can change. But I do agree the most difficult part of the situation will be whether you can get over it or not. He can always stop cheating but you have to be able to live with the fact that he did.. and not bring up in every argument for the rest of your lives. You have to be completely prepared to get over this and move on.
If so then it is possible. I know first hand. My husband now cheated on me (before we got married) and I wasn't an angel myself. But him and I talked about it.. got married and have the happiest couple ever since. It never even crosses my mind that he'd cheat. I fully 100% trust him.
I guess its up to the both of you as to whether it can work.. Its hard to get over but not impossible.. as it will be hard for him to get away with cheating and not do it again.. but like I said NOT IMPOSSIBLE.
Good luck :)
You say you know who it is. But without proof you really have nothing but suspicions. Many wives are jealous and insecure and believe their husbands are cheating. Are you sure the problem isn't YOU? The fact that you haven't talked to him about it says two things. You really AREN'T sure if he is or you have accused him so many times before that he has threatened to leave you if you continue to do so. SOUND FAMILIAR?
You don't. Take actions...If you have children ask him to leave the house. If you have to, change the lock while he's at work and put his suitcases on the front steps. Why get into an augment? he will always deny it and you don't need to wait to hear it from his mouth...you'll never hear it. Call a lawyer today and inquire on how to proceed. Take him to the cleaner.
Hey,
I'd say if you know then why do you need proof for him. You know it...you know her. So you need nothing.
I'd say start an exit plan. You are not sure if you want to stay or go. But you should be prepared for either.
Sounds like get a lawyer and a guy on the side for you.
BC
OK. Let's get this straight. You can't go on like this but you know your husband is cheating? So what do you want us to tell you?
Just tell him it's ok. Cuz you know that's what your gonna do or you wouldn't be asking this pathetic question!
you leave, if he wants to continue Your relation ship, then he'll get rid of the other woman.and come to u. don't get stuck in a relationship where u r the only 1 trying. or if there or kids involved kick him out.
Get proof and then confront. He will deny it. Mine did. If he doesn't accept responsibility, blames you, or gets mad, you have to end the marriage, in my opinion.
well I would most definitely confront him ..I believe once a cheater always a cheater..but that is just me
just tell him straight up. don't tell him all the facts you have but just say some of them and hire a private investigator it he still denies it.
If you don't end the marriage he will cheat again. Stay if you want to be miserable
Leave him. You deserve much better. No one should have to be miserable like that.
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